I’ve been pretty quiet in the blog world for the past week. There’s been a lot of inner reflecting going on here.
Earlier this year, I began a year-long course studying the seven major chakras of the body(See more about chakras here). We spend six weeks studying each chakra. Right now we are wrapping up the six week period of the the fifth chakra, the throat chakra. The throat chakra is all about communication and expression. I anticipated some trouble working through this chakra as I tend to be a very shy/quiet type. My teacher recently said that I will say something brilliant and then she won’t hear another thing out of me in class for the next six weeks. I just don’t speak up unless I am highly compelled to. I tend to be more of an observer.
So, this six-week period has been about finding my voice. That includes my blogging voice. When I started blogging back in May, I decided I wanted an anonymous blog with cute names for our household members and I wanted to be able to blog about anything without worry of who might see it or making people uncomfortable. Only, I still did worry about making people uncomfortable. I wanted to blog openly about all things in my life including my relationships and my spirituality. But I was scared to stick my neck out there. Scared of making people feel uncomfortable. Scared most of all of opening myself up to criticism and judgment.
So, I stuck mainly to cooking and gardening topics and later on, some of my art. But I mainly left out this whole other side of me that is just as much part of me. I knew I had created this blog as a medium to be my true self but yet I wasn’t being my true self. The disconnect had me feeling anxious periodically.
It is time for me to stick my neck out there and just be me. Unapologetic and authentic me. I’m losing the “Dot” persona. Using the name Dot felt like I was wearing a ridiculous wig. It just DID.NOT.FIT.ME. I think my actual name fits me quite well so here I am (as taken from my revamped “About Me” page):
Hello, my name is Holly. I like conventional things like gardening, cooking, knitting, and art but as far as things like politics, relationships, and spirituality go – compared to the mainstream, I am definitely unconventional. I live in a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of Atlanta with my husband, Jim, my other partner, Micah, and our menagerie of pets. This blog was started as a way for me to share my passions in life – both the conventional and unconventional ones.